Tuesday, August 30, 2011

New 'Dancing with the Stars' cast is almost unwatchable

"Dancing with the Stars" announced the cast for its 13th season last night and despite reports that they wanted actual stars on the show this time, the cast features only a few real stars.

In order of interest, the new cast is:

  • Ron Artest-LA Laker and fascinating personality. The only reason to watch.

  • Carson Kressley-Stylist, TV host and fashion designer. Carson is a hilarious, likable guy and seeing him ballroom dance will be enjoyable.

  • Chaz Bono-LGBT activist and son of Sonny and Cher. I have nothing but respect for anyone who shares the most private experience of their lives so bravely. Also, Cher might show up. By the way, don't make him dance to Cher.

  • JR Martinez-"All My Children" actor and motivational speaker. An Iraq war veteran, soap star and all around nice guy, I will legitimately root for him and maybe even call in.

  • Ricki Lake-Talk show host and original Tracy Turnblad. Come on who won't chant "go Ricki" when she's dancing.

  • Chynna Phillips-Wilson Phillips singer. Who doesn't want to see her dance to "Hold On?"

  • Hope Solo-U.S. women's soccer team goalie. There may be just enough goodwill left to help keep her in the competition.

  • David Arquette-"Scream" actor trying to negotiate some good publicity following his divorce.

  • Elisabetta Canalis-Actress? George Clooney's ex-girlfriend who will need a strong performance and popular partner to make past the first week.

  • Rob Kardashian/Kristen Cavallari-Reality TV stars. Rob is the least talented Kardashian, so that's saying something.

  • Nancy Grace-Talk show host/horrible person. My dislike for Grace runs deep and I know I'm not alone, so why would the producers have her on the show. I hope she gets voted off in the first week or even better drops out and never makes it on the show.

Really "Dancing with the Stars?" Nancy Grace and Rob Kardashian. How many no's did you guys have to hear before you got to those names. I could maybe write off Kristen Cavallari since you have a token reality star every season, but I cannot get past Nancy Grace.

If it wasn't for Ron Artest and Carson Kressley this season would be completely unwatchable. Frankly, I may just skip the show altogether and watch their performances the next day.

Ugh, seriously, Nancy Grace. Wow. Just wow.

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